10 Ways to Communicate with Your Teen

By: Karen Wagnon
March 2024

Parenting teenagers can be a challenging yet rewarding journey. I personally found it difficult when they pushed away for more independence and self identity. I knew they would happen, but I still felt the sadness and mourned the relationship we had as I needed to accept the reality…

They were becoming the independent young adults I was raising them to be.

One of the key ingredients for success in this transition is maintaining open and effective communication.

Let’s explore strategies to help you connect with your teen even when they seem to be pushing you away.

1. Respect Their Space: Understand that it's normal for teenagers to seek more independence and privacy as they grow. Give them space when they need it, but let them know you're available whenever they're ready to talk. This is not easy. Heck, we miss them, but what parents find is that when we respect their space, they are more apt to come around on their terms and their time.
   Remember we will experience more quality time over quantity time. 
2. Choose the Right Time and Place: Find an appropriate time and place for conversations. Avoid confronting them when they are busy, upset, or distracted. Opt for relaxed settings where you can both feel comfortable. I find at night before bed or even on long car rides, listening to their music works well.
   
3. Be Patient and Non-Judgmental: Teens often push parents away because they fear judgment or criticism. Assure them that you are there to listen without passing judgment. Patience and empathy can go a long way in opening up lines of communication.
4. Active Listening: When they do choose to talk, practice active listening. Pay close attention to what they say without interrupting. Reflect their feelings and thoughts back to them to show that you understand.
5. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking yes-or-no questions, use open-ended ones to encourage more in-depth conversations. For example, "Tell me about your day" is more likely to elicit a meaningful response than "Did you have a good day?"
6. Share Your Feelings and Experiences: Vulnerability can be a powerful tool in building trust. Share your own experiences and feelings when appropriate. This can help them relate to you and feel more comfortable opening up. This really is powerful in letting them know that you were a teen once too.
7. Respect Their Perspective: Even if you don't agree with their point of view, respect it. Acknowledge that their feelings and experiences are valid. Avoid dismissing their concerns or imposing your own opinions.
8. Use Technology Wisely: Teens often communicate through text messages and social media. While face-to-face communication is valuable, don't underestimate the importance of digital communication. Texting or messaging apps can be less intimidating for some teens.
9. Set Boundaries Together: While giving them space is important, also establish clear and reasonable boundaries. These boundaries can provide a sense of security and guidance, even if they resist them initially. Communicate and collaborate the expectations and the consequences in advance.
10. Seek Professional Help if Necessary: If your teen is facing serious emotional or behavioral challenges, it may be beneficial to seek the assistance of a therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can provide them with the tools they need to cope with their feelings.

Remember that building a strong and trusting relationship with your teenager can take time. Be persistent in your efforts to connect and understand their perspective. Your consistent support and willingness to communicate will ultimately help bridge the gap and maintain a healthy parent-teen relationship that will last a lifetime.

If you are struggling in your relationship with your teen, we can help.
Developing a Parenting Blueprint™ you will become Aware of their personality so you can Adapt your interactions and Apply the “right” strategies.

 Click here to learn more about The Parenting Blueprint™.

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Karen Wagnon is a distinguished figure in the education industry, renowned for her expertise in leadership and human behavior consulting. As a Certified Human Behavior Consultant and Master Trainer accredited by the Insights Institute in Atlanta, GA, she stands at the forefront of empowering leaders, educators and parents alike.

With a career spanning over 17 years, Karen has made significant contributions to the field through her innovative approach to staff and professional development. She is the visionary founder of Teaching Our Youth, an organization dedicated to enhancing communication, productivity, stress management, and relationship building in both personal and professional spheres.

Karen is acclaimed for her dynamic presence as a speaker, trainer, and author, renowned for her ability to captivate audiences and deliver transformative workshops. Her areas of specialization encompass leadership, team building, classroom behavior management, differentiated teaching and learning styles, and parenting strategies.

Through her compelling presentations, seminars, and workshops, Karen has empowered countless leaders, educators and parents to understand the intricacies of personality dynamics within teams and with their children. Her insights have revolutionized teaching methodologies, parenting approaches, and relationship dynamics, making a profound impact on individuals and communities alike.

www.teachingouryouth.com